Tenielle Reid is the mother of Ianto and Amelia. Ianto was sadly stillborn at 32 weeks in February 2010, and Tenielle's blog Sweet Soft Smudge was born of that loss. She's been called "brave" for being able to write through her grief, but she doesn't see it that way. She just plods on with life, takes what she gets, and tries to learn from it. Amelia helps. Tenielle is hopelessly in love with her husband Scott, her two babies, and her baby carriers. And chocolate. And Doctor Who. And...

1) When you were pregnant, did you plan on wearing your baby?

Definitely. When I was pregnant the first time, I didn't know much about babywearing, just that I instinctively knew it was the right thing to do. I bought a "bag sling" from eBay and thought that would be enough. I didn't get to use it because my son died, but it sat and waited for the next baby. When I was pregnant with my daughter (Amelia), I researched a few more carriers and bought another eBay dealie, a second-hand ABA carrier. Once she was born, I tried the bag sling and it was terrible. She hated it, I couldn't work out all the straps, it went straight to storage. The ABA carrier was great, but she got too big for it too quickly. That led to me buying my first Hug-A-Bub when she was about three months old. I agonised over the decision for ages - how does the baby stay in? What if I drop her? How am I meant to tie it? It's too complicated for me! - but it was one of the best parenting decisions I think I've made.

2) What do you love about babywearing?

I love being so close to my baby! I love that I can just walk straight up stairs instead of struggling with a pram or stroller, and I can move around small shops very easily. I love that she falls asleep on my chest listening to my heartbeat and knowing she's safe and warm.

3) What is the most common comment you receive when you are out and about babywearing?

"Oh, that's so cute!" or "Aww, look at the baby near her mummy!" I've also been asked "Where would I get one of those?" and (from a little boy) "Why did you buy that?"

Last Saturday, I had Amelia in our ring sling and was walking in a rather dark area. I was trying to work out why this woman was frowning and staring at me. She just kept staring, staring, and I was getting a little nervous because we were walking towards each other and I thought she might be planning to hurt me. As we got close to each other,she suddenly smiled and said "Oh! It's a baby!" - She'd been trying to work out what the "thing" hanging off my hip was!

4) Is your partner a keen babywearer?

Oh yes. When we go out as a family, I'm usually the one wearing Amelia, but I know he'll swap with me in an instant. He loves wearing her, though at the beginning he was very scared of dropping her. He didn't want to take his hands from around her until I prised them away! He's perfectly fine wearing her in our pink pocketless wrap, he loves it almost as much as I do. He hasn't tried the ring sling though. I'll get him one day...

5) How many carriers do you own? Which one's do you use the most?

Six or seven. I use the wraps more than the structured carriers (again, too many straps and buckles for my liking!), but since getting our ring sling a few weeks ago, that's been my carrier of choice. Amelia's started to be a lot more interested in the world around her, so a hip carry is great for her. I haven't quite worked out a cradle carry, so I make sure to have one wrap in (or hanging from) my nappy bag in case she gets sleepy.

6) What's the first thing you'd tell someone thinking about trying babywearing?

Do it! It's the best feeling, being so close to your baby but being able to do so many things around/with them. For a newborn, I'd recommend using just a wrap (only because of my aforementioned difficulties with cradle carries), then moving on to a combination of a wrap and ring sling. Maybe a structured carrier for back carries, but I haven't got to that point yet.

7) What activity are you most likely to rely on babywearing to get done?

Shopping, walking anywhere further than next door... I suppose if I ever did housework, that would be one (haha), getting Amelia to sleep when I need to be up and active rather than able to lay down with her.

8)And lastly, what's your favourite babywearing photo.

I have a couple.

My husband wearing Amelia for the first time and rocking the pink pocketless.

Amelia sleeping soundly in the ring sling. I had half worked out the cradle carry, but was sitting down anyway so didn't feel the need to do it all properly.

And Amelia peeking up at me two minutes after the last photo with her big sleepy blue eyes.

One of the potentially intimidating things about the hug-a-bub wrap carrier when you first get it is how much fabric there is. This isn't just because it might take you a couple of times before you figure out how to tie it with ease, but because it might not be easy to get them in and out for short trips, errands or even if you just need to take them out to change a nappy.

The ability to take a baby in and out of a carrier easily is called it's 'poppable factor'. Cute word that basically refers to how easy it is. So what rates the highest? Pouches are usually regarded as having the highest degree of poppability, followed by slings. Wraps might take more time to get adjusted, but once tied they are just as poppable as a sling or pouch. And ranking as the least poppable are probably structured front and back carriers.

There are a few things that you can do to maximise the hug-a-bub's poppability:

1) I often tie it and adjust it before I get in the car. That way when I get to where I'm going I don't need to tie anything - I just adjust and tighten (if need be) and put the baby in. This is especially helpful if it has been raining and you don't want to get the fabric wet in the car park.

2) If you are only briefly taking your baby out (for a nappy change or a quick clean up) you can also leave the wrap tied on and ready for when they need to go back in.

3) Tie it nice and tight. You won't have to adjust it as much and it will still be really easy to get the baby out when you need to.

Getting them out - how easy is it?

Getting a baby out of a hug-a-bub is really easy. You just lower the pocket, pull both pieces of the wrap down and with a quick wiggle you can lift your baby right out. Which is great because it means (unlike with structured carriersp you don't need to have an extra surface to put the baby while you take off the carrier. The baby is out and your carrier stays tied, ready for the next time you want to use it or for when it is convenient for you to take it off.

What's the most important feature to you in a carrier?

1) You are creating negative sleep associations

If they sleep in the wrap or sling they will never learn to sleep anywhere else

The theory about sleep associations is not new. You hear it all over the place if you rock to sleep / feed to sleep / wear to sleep then the theory goes that your baby will never learn to go to sleep any other way, and may even have trouble going through sleep cycles at night. But the truth is that it doesn't matter how you get your baby to sleep, in their own sweet time they will start putting themselves to sleep. Sometimes that time is a bit too long for a parents liking and we might choose to give them a bit of a nudge along. But there is no rhyme or reason to it. My first didn't go to sleep on her own reliably until she was over a year old, my second by the time she was six weeks. It might not feel like it at the time, but you will not be feeding/patting/rocking/wearing your 10 year old to get them to go to sleep.

2) Babies should learn to sleep on their own

You are doing a disservice if they don't learn to go to sleep on their own.

The idea that babies should sleep on their own is a rather new one. Adults often have trouble sleeping in a bed alone, or need to have a hot drink, read a book or any manner of other routines to help them get to sleep. So the idea that a baby should be able to go to sleep without company, comfort or help is pretty unrealistic. It might be tempting to think that once a baby goes to sleep on their own, they will sleep for longer and will be better rested and in the long run better off. But it's no guarantee. My little one puts herself to sleep and regularly (very regularly) cat naps through the day anyway. 

3) Babywearing creates 'clingy' babies

The idea that babywearing will somehow stunt the development of independence and resilience.

In the 1950s baby experts thought that resilience was created by parental detachment. However, it is now known that a secure attachment leads to independence, emotional availablility, better coping skills, improved moral development, reduced stress and improved academic performance.

My first baby was what you would call a high needs baby. She would breastfeed for long stretches, preferred to be rocked to sleep (sometimes it took me up to an hour) and in general liked to be held for most of the day. There was lots to love about a high needs baby. I enjoyed that level of attachment and it was lovely to be needed so much.

My second baby was a different creature entirely. She hated being rocked, she was not a snuggly baby (other than being worn in the Hug-a-Bub wrap carrier) and is quite possibly the most laid back baby I've come across. She plays on the floor on her own and doesn't protest when I'm not in the room. She puts herself to sleep. Few things bother her. Even when I took her to have her vaccinations recently she didn't even flinch when the needle went in. She was born that way and other than a brief stint of colic, she is an unbelievably happy baby.

Recently, as she approached 6 months she started to become a whole lot more unsettled. She would protest being on the floor or when I left the room and started resisting sleep. Which is not unusual for a 6 month old. Separation anxiety starts kicking in and they usually have a good amount of teething to cope with as well. But in my little one's case I think it was that unsettled period before she made her leap to the next developmental stage. She's just about crawling. She commando crawls at the moment and pulls herself along. In no time she'll be off and my productivity at home will drop dramatically.

During this stage there are a whole range of things that you can do.

Harness Brief Periods of Productivity

Even when a baby is going through one of these stages they will still tend to have a decent sleep first thing in the morning. In these times I try to get all the things done that I can do much faster when they are in their bed. Like cleaning the bathrooms, changing linen and getting some work done on the computer. And I make sure and save the things that are easy to do with her for later - especially hanging out washing or anything that needs doing outside - because she loves the outdoors.

Hug-a-Bub and More Hug-a-Bub

During these periods, even as a 6 month old, she will live in the Hug-a-Bub either to sleep or just hang out while I do other things. It's much easier than carrying her around on my hip all day. It's one way of definitely getting her to sleep because I can tuck her head in and it stops her thrashing around too much and keeps her settled enough to drift off. To make the most of this time I have a computer set up at eye-level when I'm standing up so I can use it even when the baby is insisting that I stay on my feet.

Variety is the Spice of Life

As it turns out, it's also the spice of baby. Nothing helps to turn a cranky baby turn into a happy one like a change of scenery - getting outside, even looking out a window can do wonders. But even have a variety of different play areas can be great too - an area on the floor, an easily transportable seat so you can take them around with you and maybe a swing if they are into it {mine has found a way to get our swing to approach warp speed so I haven't put her in it recently}

Know That It's Temporary

If you are anything like me you will enjoy these brief periods of time. I'm quite happy to have a baby who requires a bit more of me than she normally would. It's such a great opportunity to forget being busy and just enjoy her company. The house can wait. She's so tiny but will only be that way for such a finite period of time. I'm going to blink and she will be embarrassed to hold my hand when we cross the road. So I treasure every time she demands to be held close and I would never wish it away.

When I was pregnant the thought of taking both children shopping terrified me. Why put myself through it?! Grocery shopping is best done online or by husbands surely. And I was pretty sure that no matter what time of day I left the house at least one of them would be cranky. The reality by comparison was not nearly as bad.

My baby is now 6 months old and since the beginning there's nothing that I haven't really done. I actually do the grocery shopping with the two kids because I still haven't been quite organised enough to plan the online shopping thing. I've taken them both on longer day trips and have travelled interstate with them on holiday as well. There was only one situation where I needed a pram. And that was when we travelled to Melbourne and my three year old got too tired walking around.

I love the Hug-a-Bub wrap for short shopping trips. I don't have to find a trolley with a baby seat and silently panic about all the germs that the baby is now lying on and/or licking plus I have two hands for wrangling my big girl which is pretty necessary. Particularly when I hear her say the same thing over and over "I just have to run, mama". Joy.

For day trips I've tried out both options. I've taken the pram and I've taken the wrap. The pram is generally more trouble than it's worth. It's cumbersome to get on and off the train and sometimes to get it inside the carriage I actually have to take it apart, all while holding a baby. Not so much fun. And my light sleeping baby doesn't tend to sleep for an overly long period of time in the pram anyway - she generally just has one sleep cycle in there and that's it. Now that she's more active I often take the pram just so she has somewhere to hang out in and play with a few toys, but it is still far easier to get her to sleep in the wrap.

When she was three months old we went down to Melbourne for the week and she lived in the wrap. The only sleep she really had in a bed was her evening sleep and other than that I pretty much exclusively wore her the entire time. I was at a conference for a few of the days and it made it so easy to participate in everything and at no stage did I need to try and get the pram into a venue, or weave it in between tables and chairs. And I was pretty comfortable in being able to wear her for around 10 hours a day without getting sore or feeling tired.

I'm heading off to another conference next week and although I'm staying overnight I don't want to check in any baggage because I arrive in Melbourne at 7:30 and the event starts at 8:30, so time is of the essence! Again I'll be forgoing the pram in favour of the wrap. She's a bigger, much more active baby now but she still loves it and is quite happy to spend her time in there.

Interesting fact: the pram I own is worth more than my car (my 20 year old car). And although I love having a great pram, I love that I don't have to use it that often and only when it's convenient for me.

Lori is a blogger and mommy of one amazing little boy known around the 'net as "The Gnome." She's lucky enough to be married to the gnome's dad who works very hard so she can stay home and raise The Gnome. She is a wife, mommy, cook, avid reader, amateur sewer, coffee addict, wine fan, cheese snob, breastfeeder, cloth diaper enthusiast, outdoor lover, dog mom, and blogger. She is passionate about supporting all mamas. She is a huge fan of sharing the love. You can catch up with her on her blog, check her out on facebook and procrastinate with her on twitter.

There are some great resources on her blog includeing How to Nurse in a Moby Wrap and How to Nurse in an ERGO

When you were pregnant, did you plan on wearing your baby?

No, I didn't even register for a carrier or wrap! When my son was just a few weeks I bought a Moby Wrap. It changed our entire relationship. He went from miserable baby to the happiest, most content little guy ever. 

What do you love about babywearing?

Having my son close and still being able to get things done. Babywearing doesn't just keep him calm & happy, it mellows me out too. 

What is the most common comment you receive when you are out and about baby babywearing?

It's almost always a comment about how cute & happy he is. He always has a smile on his face when I'm wearing him and people comment on it every time.

Is your partner a keen babywearer?

He is afraid of wraps but he wears our son in the ERGO every single night. He even has his very own ERGO! He's always offering to wear him when we're out and about. 

How many carriers do you own? Which one's do you use the most?

Right now we have 3 with another on the way. I am saving up for a Wrap Conversion though!

What's the first thing you'd tell someone thinking about trying babywearing?

You won't regret it. It makes like so much easier and it makes for a happy baby. If you're breastfeeding, it is the easiest way to do it hands-free. 

Have your babywearing habits changed from your first to your second child?

I'm still on my first child. If I could guess though, I would think I would babywear even more with number two since I will be chasing number one around. 

What activity are you most likely to rely on babywearing to get done?

Running errands. I keep a SSC in my car. We haven't used his stroller since he was a month or so old. 

And lastly, what's your favourite babywearing photo?

I've attached a few but my absolute favorite is the one of him in the Moby Wrap. That was the first time I put him in it and he immediately fell asleep with a grin on his face!